Sunday, March 28, 2010

Bali Goodbyes

Bali Goodbyes

I just said goodbye to blonde Kate.

I dubbed her that, as brunette Kate is brown Kate during practice. Kate flies back to London tonight.

I’m almost finished with my three month residency here in Bali. At first I found myself counting the goodbyes, a shocking although obvious bi-product of living in a tourist destination.

I realize that I suck at non-attachment. Aparigraha- a yoga tenant that I think I have a grip on when it comes to loosing iphones (four so far)– but when it comes to people , I sticky.

As of February I had said goodbye to no less than ten really precious people. Maurice ,from Sydney, Allison, Didier, and Rodulf from France, Susie from Australia, Isabelle from France, Luciana, from Brazil/Kuaui, Claire, from Australia, Zena from Oz/England the list gets longer and now as I now prepare for my departure, I will be the one leaving, saying goodbye.

When I first arrived I thought the local ex-pat community was being distant, now I realize they were just being selective. My heart broke each week as someone I had just grown to know and love and appreciate would come to class and announce, “I’m leaving tomorrow”. I taught classes about always saying goodbye. I relived my own childhood abandonment issues. I dreamt about my best friend Renee, in fifth grade, whose family moved away, to Texas. I remember crying for hours.

At some point I decided to act like an adult and see the good in all of these momentary intersections. Rather than looking at everyone always leaving, I chose to look at all the people I was gifted to interface with. I clung to the idea that had I not come to this “node” in the body of Earth, Bali, that I would not know the four quadrants according to Maurice, the dangers of basejumping according to Rudy, The cockney slang and wicked humor I discovered with Zena, or the ecstatic Brazilian joie de vive of Luciana, the cool French calm of Allison, or the tender heart of a poker player that was Didier. This is not even including the rush of nationalities that I met in the high season, Natasha from Russia, Adya from Portugal (the neurobiologist I spent hours with talking about teremeres- the future of ant –aging), Jim from Switzerland, Caroline and Claudia from Holland fearlessly trying yoga daily, for the first time for two weeks straight.

One by one they came, connected, and departed a revolving door of cultural travelers.

It’s not the average traveler that comes to Bali, and Desa Seni being outrageously beautiful centered around yoga and wellness as well as a little pricey also magnetizes a certain milieu.

The local expats come here for yoga, the visitors are here for a weeks in and out. People start to sort themselves into silt layers of staying power. After a month, I moved to a different silt layer, after three still another. These layers coalesce into certin groups. Those that have come in the last five years, the over five, the over 10, the over 15, the over 20 are like Bali royalty.

I understand, finally, how the urge to connect with travelers so thoroughly starts to wain.

Balinese too, have seen travelers come, fall in love with Bali, open a business, close a business. One Italian restaurant owner told me “They play with you, to see if you are going to be around, they’ve seen so many westerners come and go”.

I know as a teacher I see students come and go all the time. I learned long ago, they are not “my students” but students on the path. I may see them for a day, a week, a year, three years. But one day, one of us will move on.

The bittersweetness of life, the fact that everything is temporary is a daily reminding as the next plane out of Denpasar takes a whole other crew of people back to their respective homes.

“Let what comes come, let what goes go, and find out what remains, “Ramana Maharshi said.

I don’t think he was talking about Bali travelers, but experiences, thoughts, health, the body. And yet, this quote is what I also try not to cling to, as I prepare to say goodbye to the friends who will stay here for the moment, on this magical island.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tara :)

    Your Blog is awesome! Thanks to you and my tour organizer I learned to love Bali. It is really amzaing there. I came back a week ago and the goodbye was really hard :( but next year I will visit this beautiful island again :)

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